Vegan Paçoca

Paçoca is SO good. It is a Brazilian candy made of raw peanuts, sugar, condensed milk, and salt. What's cool about it is that if you replace the condensed milk (I used agave which has a similar sticky consistency and can hold the treat together), it is a naturally raw vegan dessert! Woot, woot!

It's so intensely peanut-buttery & salty-sweet. The consistency is really crumbly, which makes it fun to eat and make. Usually paçoca is served as little squares or as a crumble over other desserts. In fact, it would make a great pie "crust" to a raw vegan peanut butter-chocolate cheesecake.

Yay!

Oh, it's also widely eaten around Easter time which makes it perfect for this time of year. If you travel down to Brazil you might also find a new variety of Hershey's that you haven't seen before:



Cool, huh?



Of course, Hershey's candies aren't vegan. But hey, one can dream. If you dipped the completed product of this recipe in some melted chocolate (1 4oz bar unsweetened dark chocolate melted w/ 4 tbsp vegan margarine over low heat) you could make your own vegan Hershey's paçoca!

Vegan Paçoca

(pronounced like pa-SSO-ca)

1 1/2 cup roasted/salted peanuts

3/4 cup tapioca or manoic flour

1 cup vegan brown sugar

1/4 cup agave nectar (don't have it? use maple syrup)

1. Process all dry ingredients.

Manoic/tapioca flours come from the cassava plant which is known as the "bread of the tropics." Many South American and African desserts/dishes are made with the starchy tubers of the cassava plant. Another cool fact about it is that, when not cooked or processed properly cassava is poisonous. Both varities, sweet and bitter, naturally contain cyanogenic glycosides. That is... a cyanide group contained within the glycosides (sugars bonded with non-carb molecules) of the plant. 

No need to fear, though! The flours that you can buy (Bob's Red Mill is a good brand) are completely safe to consume, and so is properly prepared cassava! Usually boiling, soaking, or baking the plant does the trick. In fact, I've had cassava several times before in various West African dishes and it is delicious.

The mixture will be crumbly before you add the agave.
I don't know why my hand looks like Quasimodo's hand here.

2. Add agave and process again. Try to squish the mixture with your hands. If it stays together, you're A-OK. If it doesn't, add a little more agave & process again.

3. Simply take a palm full of the mixture in your hands and press into small squares. Some people like to pat the entire mix down into the bottom of a pan and cut square shapes out, but I think doing it with your hands is easier.

Eat, eat, eat! Happy spring!

Vegan Brigadeiros

Well, after 4 1/2 fretful hours, full of not bi, but trilingual curses, I FINALLY managed to invent the recipe for vegan brigadeiros!! It was so difficult because traditional brigadeiros, a Brazilian bon-bon like candy staple, are made with only a few ingredients, chocolate, butter, and condensed milk.

It took me AGES to condense my own vegan soymilk, but I did it! Booyeah! I must say the end product is just as tasty & complex (if not more so..) than the good-old fashioned favorites!

So, for all you brave souls who wish to create condensed vegan milk on your own... make sure you have several hours at hand. Otherwise, I found a cool-looking substitute that I have yet to try: Olvebra brand condensed soyamilk

However, there's something about accomplishing a time-consuming task like this recipe on your own. It makes you feel like you've created life! It's like they're my little delicious children! Granted, that is bordering on weird. But you couldn't pull the smile off my face for an hour, amigos!

I think next time I will try making the condensed soymilk in a slow-cooker and see how it turns out. Anyways, I used to looooove these treats before I became a vegan and I am so happy & proud to share the recipe with all of you!

Vegan Brigadeiros

3 1/2 cups unsweetened soy milk
6 tablespoons of vegan margarine
1/2 cup of vegan sugar
3 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa
pinch salt
walnuts (traditionally they use chocolate sprinkles!)






1. Melt the margarine in a pan, adding the sugar. Stir consistently until the sugar is liquified.

2. Bring the soil milk to a boil and combine the margarine/sugar mixture with the soy milk. Add the pinch of salt.

3. Simmer mixture for several hours making sure to stir frequently so the bottom of the mixture does not burn. Use a wooden spoon. You want the boil to be a very, very gentle one. Keep the temperature low! This step may take up to 3-3 1/2 hours. I promise the results are well-worth the labor!

*Note: you will continually need to lower the temperature bit by bit as the soy milk condenses into a lesser and lesser volume.

**You will also see a "milk film" start to develop on top of the soy milk after a little while. This is a good sign, and also a sign that you should stay patient and keep simmering! (Patience seriously sucks, I know).


4. Eventually, depending on your cookware and the heat you are using, the mixture will condense to a definite thick pudding-like consistency (one that won't completely lose it's shape when you pick it up in your hands). Add the cocoa powder and whisk until the mixture is uniform. After you have achieve this pudding-like consistency, simmer very gently for approximately 15 more minutes and then let the mixture completely cool.

5. Take the completely cool mixture and heat it to high-heat on your stove very quickly. Stir constantly. Cook for 10 minutes. Scrape the bottom of the pan with your wooden spoon to keep it from burning. The mixture will look like it's starting to come apart, the oil bleeding out onto the pan. This is a good sign. Just keep mixing!

6. After you have done this, you should have an easy-to-mold blob of delicious condensed vegan milk and chocolate brigadeiro! Take it apart tiny bite-sized piece by tiny bite-sized piece, and pat them on a paper towel to remove excess margarine grease. Roll them through sprinkles to get the traditional effect (all I had were walnuts!). I find the walnuts add an appealing crunch to the smooth bon-bon texture.

7. They should be eaten right away or stored in the fridge to chill and enjoyed any time!

Sucesso!!

Once I get my hands on some of that cool Olvebra brand condensed soy milk, I will try out this recipe the easy-peasier way.

Torticas de Morón

I finally got to make my torticas!!

Torticas de Morón are a Cuban speciality and are very popular in Cuban bakeries. Cuban cooking is a fusion of African, Carribean and Spanish cuisines, and so has a variety of immensely flavorful elements to draw from!

The predominant flavors of these cookies are lime, rum, and cinnamon. The non-vegan recipe calls for eggs and butter/lard, which I replaced with vegan-margarine and applesauce (to keep the cookies moist). They came out light and fluffy and aromatic... the perfect compliment to a bright sunny day and the red chilie & tomatillo tacos I made. Mmmmm...

Torticas de Morón

(small cakes from Morón)

3 cups flour

pinch salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

2/3 cups vegan sugar

1 4oz package of unsweetened applesauce

1 cup vegan margarine
3 tbsp lime zest
3 tsp rum extract (or regular rum if you have it around)
guava paste (a common Latin ingredient, it can usually be found in the Goya aisle)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Mix the flour, salt, baking power, and cinnamon together. Add the sugar, lime zest, lime juice, rum extract, softened butter, applesauce. Mix by hand once the dough starts to form.

3. Separate the dough into 3 sections, refridgerating the ones you aren't using.

4. Roll the dough out onto a floured surface. Cut into 2 1/2-inch rounds (they should be about 1/3 of an inch thick). Line them up on parchment paper over the baking sheet. Parchment paper is AWESOME and requires little-to-no clean up. (Which is obviously why I use it).

5. Cut the guava paste into small pieces and press them into the tops of the cookies. Bake for 14 minutes until the bottoms are lightly browned.

6. Lastly, let cool for about 5 minutes and enjoy! I topped mine with powered sugar because Cuban desserts are supposed to be muyyyyy muyyyyyyyy dulce!

Raw Vegan Blueberry 'Cheese'cake

Yet another raw cheesecake! These are by far my favorite desserts to make, and they're so simple, and so delicious, I really implore you to try it out if you haven't yet. They taste exactly like real cheesecake but are about 8 billion times better for you (that is the actual scientific measurement).

I tried a plain and a Death By Chocolate cheesecake so I thought that this time around I would try something fruity. I took inspiration, drawing heavily from from Carmella's recipe, but I changed a few things.

Raw Vegan Blueberry 'Cheese'cake

Crust:
3/4 cups almonds
1/2 cup fresh shredded coconut
3 tbsp carob chips
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp raw honey
pinch salt
2 dates

Filling:
2 cups fresh blueberries
1 handful red grapes
1 1/2 cup cashews (unsoaked)
7 tbsp coconut oil
1 tsp dark cocoa powder
1/2-2/3 cup honey
1 tbsp lemon juice
pinch salt

Topping:
1 tbsp honey
1 heaping tbsp dark cocoa powder
1/2 handful blueberries
(add more blueberries for more watery consistency)


-The recipe is so effing simple. Just grind all of the topping ingredients in the food processor and press the mixture into the pan for the crust. I grated fresh coconut with the food processor first instead of using packaged coconut which is sweetened. If you have a food processor - try this, it looks really cool. Or...just as well don't, Your Highness.

-Blah, blah, blah. Self-indulgent comment.

-Next, process the entire filling. Add more honey if it's not sweet enough for you. I doubled the amount of honey from the original recipe. 

-Just spoon the filling onto the crust and make the topping, decorating/just throwing it on there to look fancy.

-I am going to eat this on the roof of my house at 2 AM while I watch the Perseids meteor shower, sitting by my 10$ Wal-Mart brand 'outdoor' lantern. Yay, space!!!

Ex astris, Scientia!

going where no raw cheesecake has gone before

Vegan Carob-Peanut Butter Cookies

I really wanted to cook with carob chips: irrelevant.

They cost me 5.94 cents: irrelevant but ridiculous. Ninety-FOUR cents.

They (carob chips) are delicious: a personal opinion and irrelevant but getting closer to relevance.

This recipe is really good - rich and very very peanut buttery. I have never cooked with carob chips before, so I was unsure how to handle them. This recipe yields delicious, small cookies. The batter is really greasy because of all the peanut butter and margarine (it's equal parts margarine + PB to flour), but they cook really well and don't fall apart.

Vegan Carob-Peanut Butter Cookies

adapted from this great recipe

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp allspice

1 cup all-natural creamy peanut butter (I got Smuckers)

1/2 cup vegan brown sugar or 1/3 cup Amber agave

1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup vegan margarine
substitute for 2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract

carob chips to taste

-First, mix all the dry ingredients. Boring.

-I used the food processor to combine the peanut butter, margarine, vanilla, egg replacer, brown sugar (or agave) and maple syrup. If you use agave, make sure to cook this for about a minute more.

-The mixture will come out really greasy and generally unappealing and sort of revolting, but stick with it chap. Combine it with the dry mixture slowly. Add the carob chips. Put the bowl in the fridge for about 45 minutes, so the dough will be easier to work with and no longer sticky.

-After the 45 mins is up, roll up the dough into little 2-inch balls and cook for about 13 mins. The pan doesn't have to be greased. Be careful not to let them sit in the oven any longer or their bottoms will come out all burnt and repulsive. I hate burnt things. I'm just a little ball of sunshine today, aren't I.

Death By Chocolate Raw Vegan Cheesecake

THIS. IS. sogood. It's so assaultingly chocolately it should come with a warning label.

It's okay, Wolverine. I can handle it this time.

Death By Chocolate Raw Vegan Cheesecake

Crust:

1/2 cup pecans (soaked 1 hour)

1/2 cup walnuts (soaked 1 hour)

2 tbsp cacao nibs

2-3 tbsp agave

dash salt

Filling:

3 1/2 cups cashews (soaked 1-4 hours)

4 dates

3/4 cup agave

1/4 cup maple syrup

1/2 tsp ground coffee

1/2 cup coconut oil

1/2 cup water

2 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/2 cup dark cocoa powder

dash salt

-Notice how I gave the recipe a clever name this time? Yeah, I thought it was awesome and cute. Shut the fuck up. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries:

-First: soak all the nuts 1-4 hours before cooking. Raw cheesecake really is worth all the waiting on the nuts, ahahaha everytime I type nuts I think of testicles. Anyhow, it is SO good, the raw cheesecake, not the testicles. In my opinion, actually far better than real cheesecake. And howwwwdy, better for ya.

-Next, combine all the ingredients for the crust in the food processor and press "ON." Yeah, I think I'm just a witty little fuck, you know. Cacao nibs are basically like the best thing ever: they're the unsweetened cocoa bean, and they are packed with mood/cognition enhancing Theobromine.. blah blah science. They're small and crunchy and the Aztecs used to chew on them. That makes them awesome.

-Next, put the soaked cashews, agave, maple (Canada!), coconut oil, cocoa powders, dates, salt, vanilla and water in the food processor. I know I always go on and on about how awesome Canada is, but in reality, it's New Zealand. I was listening to different countries' national anthems last night at around 1 AM (I have no life, it's accepted), and NZ has the most amazing fucking national anthem I've ever heard. The instrumental sounds like the intro to a game show. HAHAHA Behind dooooorrrr number one we have: the entire country of New Zealand!!!

Needless to say, it is AWESOME. You should definitely listen to it here on Youtube while you cook. You won't be disappointed. The first verse is, I think, the aboriginal version.

-Anyways, other than New Zealand's success at life, you should empty the contents of the food processor into the pan right now (that's what she said) and be a success yourself!

-om nom nom nom, soooo chocolatey!!

-Voila! Store in the freezer for 2 hours, and then "defrost" 1/2 a half hour in the fridge before serving.

-Wow, you did it!

PS. I had to look up how to spell "success" like 8 times.

Vegan Lemon Poppy Cake

This cake has a really summery flavor.

I've been sitting here for 10 minutes and that's all I can think of writing. My brain is on E today (what else is new). If brains were petrol I probably couldn't power a fly's motorcycle around the circumference of a penny.

Also, when I just reread the title of this post I thought it said "Vagina Lemon Poppy Cake." VAGINA. Vagina is NOT a cake flavor. Even that sentence makes me dry heave a little. Sigh. I think it's time for a nap.

I'm so tired I'm starting to see Wolverine in the dry wall on my ceiling. That's when you know it's bad. Also, now that I'm thinking, why would a fly need a motorcyle? It would just, assumedly, fly. Unless it was as lazy as I am. If I were a fly, I'd need a motorcycle. Please step right ahead and stop reading this.

Vegan Lemon Poppy Cake

3 cups whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3 1/3 tbsp poppy seeds
2 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 cup apple juice
2/3 cup maple syrup - Grade B, pure.
3 lemon rinds



-Okay first, you're going to want to mix the flour, baking soda/powder, salt, and poppy seeds all together, as the dry mix.

-Next: Add the apple juice, lemon juice, 3 tsp of vanilla, and maple syrup. (From Canada!). You can use store bought lemon juice, or just wait until you grate the lemons and then juice them.

 

-Take a food grater/shredder (I just used the grating tool on my food processor) and grate the rind of 3 lemons. If fruit could think, honestly, it would be like SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTT in the food processor. I always think of that whenever I use it.

-Now that you have all your lemon rinds (nom nom nom), mix them into the batter! I'm sure you got that, but I'm a little comatose right now, maybe you are too.

I just thought this picture was pretty and I wanted to show off.

-Now, put the cake in a 9 inch pan on 350 for 30-35 mins. Remember to grease the pan because I forgot again you don't want sad sticky cake, yo.

-In a little less than 3/4 of an hour, you'll be the proud owner of a brand-new cake, only pay S+H! Call 555-5555, that's 555-5555, that's 555-5555!!!

-If you want to make the icing I made (I just thought blueberries go well with lemon, if you don't well then, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Your Majesty) just throw in the food processor:

1/2 cup fresh blueberries

1/2 cup vegan margarine

 3 cup powdered sugar

1 tbsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp strawberry extract

1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar

If you buy a pint of blueberries, you can use what's left to decorate, or you can just stare at them. I don't know. The apple cider vinegar gives frosting a really good, "cream cheese" like flavor.

Holla, brosef!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

Hooray! I know, chocolate chip cookies are so good they make you want to puke. I actually made these a couple days ago but was too lazy to put all the pics and stuff up on the computer. On top of this the pictures sucked because my digital camera still runs on BATTERIES and is a piece of shit. Yeah. So, I was stomping around like the baby I am.

At first, I scorned the cookies because I deemed them a terrible, horrible failure and a testament to my already dubious talent. But then, I came around. I became like the woman who says she never wants to have kids, and then she has one by accident (heyyyya!) and swears to have 50 more.

I would have 50 more batches of these little mf bites of joy.

So, if you're feeling like Wolverine today:

Then do I have a recipe for you! These are are not the overly-sugary ooey-gooey cookies your mom makes. They have a rich, full flavor and a hearty yumminess to them. If you don't like them, they also make really good ammo, so throw them at your mirror when you have your inevitable moment of self-hatred for the day!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/3 cup agave syrup (Amber)

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup almond milk

1/4 cup canola oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
4-5 squares of bittersweet vegan baking chocolate

*Makes about 24 small cookies

-Most pure baking chocolate is vegan, however sometimes it is "produced on equipment that manufactures milk, soy, etc" - If you have a problem with this, Whole Foods chocolate chips and Trader Joe's chocolate chips are both vegan. Also, carob chips (which taste a little different, nuttier, but are equally AMAZING) are another option. They have a very chocolate-y consistency after being baked. Also, you can give carob chips to your dog. Or if you really hate your dog, go ahead with the chocolate chips.

-Step 1: Mix all dry ingredients together. 2 cups flour, baking soda/powder, salt.

-Next, whisk all the wet ingredients together. Almond milk, canola oil, agave syrup, vanilla. I always use Almond Breeze brand almond milk. I think the Silk kind is kind of tasteless. Almond Breeze, represent. When I made these cookies I forgot to put in the agave and realized only after they were in the oven. So I had to take them out, pouting like a 2 year old, and put it in ex post. Fail.

- Now, whisk the wet mixture into the dry slowly.

-Next, chop up 4-5 blocks of vegan baking chocolate with a good knife. As a zombie, I'm used to people coming at me with knives. But as a human, I think you should be concerned if you chop off a finger or two. Unless you're part starfish, then by all means, please send me a YouTube vid. Ps. Wolverine can regrow his fingers too.

-Now mix the shavings into the batter by hand. Yes, by hand you lazy ****.

-My dog Taz is obviously worried I am going to leave the oven on again and burn down the house. 
 

-Last, roll all the cookies out on a greased (with canola) cookie sheet, and cook on 350 for about 13-15 mins. Normally, you'd let them in for a little less time, but since we used agave you're supposed to extend baking time by 6%. I read that off an agave manufacturer's website once, but you were fooled for a minute, weren't you? That'll teach you to trust me.

-nom nom nom nom. I left these sitting out for a day, and they really absorbed the chocolate flavor.

-Look it's a cookie-a-whirl! Sorry I have the excitement capacity of a toddler. Anyways, you're done! Go eat, and stop bothering me! *classy grin*