Message from the Crypt

Welcome to where horrendous food comes to die. Looks like eating all that shit didn't do you too well, because you are, in fact, a corpse. Sucks, doesn't it? Mom's in the mausoleum down the way and she always had some saying. I could go ask her but a couple hundred centuries of death really cries for a Tic-tac. It was something along the lines of, "better late than never" so why not become a Vegan zombie like me? Zombies have been eating the flesh of humans for eons now, and guess what, we're still ugly as shit. Does your eye keep falling out every time that hot corpse from burial plot 16A looks at you? Do you wish you could lose that couple pounds of rotting stomach fat? Well, you probably can't. But at least you'll feel good about your decrepit, less-than-average body. And if the other living dead make fun of you for passing on the leg of a delicious human, flip them the middle finger. (If you still have one).