Vegan Blueberry Breakfast Bars

Wow. Wow. Wow. These are really good. Not very sweet, aside from the blueberry flavor, which is awesome. Just how I like it. Somehow, they manage to stay so light and airy and chewy it's almost offensive. Almost.

Blueberry Breakfast Bars
fantastic original recipe here

1 1/3 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup oats
1/3 cup vegan brown sugar or maple syrup
2 tsp baking soda
3/4 cup almond milk
1/4 cup applesauce
2 tbsp cornstarch
1 1/2 cup blueberries




-Basically, mix everything together except the blueberries, and then fold the blueberries in so they don't get crushed and mushy.

-Put mixture into a greased pan (I used parchment paper instead, in my opinion, so much better) in an 8x8 pan or equal size. Oven on 400 and leave em' in for about 25 mins and you're so good.

-Taz wanted some :( I gave him some blueberries. Good little boy.

Raw Vegan Blueberry 'Cheese'cake

Yet another raw cheesecake! These are by far my favorite desserts to make, and they're so simple, and so delicious, I really implore you to try it out if you haven't yet. They taste exactly like real cheesecake but are about 8 billion times better for you (that is the actual scientific measurement).

I tried a plain and a Death By Chocolate cheesecake so I thought that this time around I would try something fruity. I took inspiration, drawing heavily from from Carmella's recipe, but I changed a few things.

Raw Vegan Blueberry 'Cheese'cake

Crust:
3/4 cups almonds
1/2 cup fresh shredded coconut
3 tbsp carob chips
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp raw honey
pinch salt
2 dates

Filling:
2 cups fresh blueberries
1 handful red grapes
1 1/2 cup cashews (unsoaked)
7 tbsp coconut oil
1 tsp dark cocoa powder
1/2-2/3 cup honey
1 tbsp lemon juice
pinch salt

Topping:
1 tbsp honey
1 heaping tbsp dark cocoa powder
1/2 handful blueberries
(add more blueberries for more watery consistency)


-The recipe is so effing simple. Just grind all of the topping ingredients in the food processor and press the mixture into the pan for the crust. I grated fresh coconut with the food processor first instead of using packaged coconut which is sweetened. If you have a food processor - try this, it looks really cool. Or...just as well don't, Your Highness.

-Blah, blah, blah. Self-indulgent comment.

-Next, process the entire filling. Add more honey if it's not sweet enough for you. I doubled the amount of honey from the original recipe. 

-Just spoon the filling onto the crust and make the topping, decorating/just throwing it on there to look fancy.

-I am going to eat this on the roof of my house at 2 AM while I watch the Perseids meteor shower, sitting by my 10$ Wal-Mart brand 'outdoor' lantern. Yay, space!!!

Ex astris, Scientia!

going where no raw cheesecake has gone before

Black Quinoa Breakfast Cereal

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is stumble out of my room in a half-hungover, half-delusional haze. Then, I sit on my computer for an unhealthy amount of time while I try to recount my disjointed, nonsensical dreams. After I debate over whether I should wash my hair or not, I go downstairs to get something for breakfast.

Breakfast is my least favorite meal, so needless to say I'm really not a "breakfast food" type person. I don't like eating sweet things when I first get up, so I normally go for plainer flavors like hummus (which I just made for a snack now, nom nom) and bread, or nut cheese (hahaha nut cheese) and bread, or leftover vegan pizza.

The point of all this rambling nonsense is really to point out the fact that I don't like cereal very much. I usually eat the Kashi kinds for a snack if I get hungry during the day but in the morning sometimes I haveeee: quinoa or brown rice with almond milk and fruits/nut.

It's packed with vitamins/good calories/healthy shit to start your inevitably boring day off right! Here are some suggestions:

Black Quinoa Breakfast Cereal

1 cup quinoa/rice (protein, fiber)

1 1/2 cup water (cooked before hand)

Toppings:

-strawberries/blueberries (vitamin C, antioxidants -immune system boost)

-bananas (they slow digestion, Potassium)

-wolfberries/goji berries (antioxidants, Potassium)

-cashews/pecans/walnuts (good fats, brain food, protein)

-1 tbsp agave/maple syrup

-soy/rice/almond milk (protein)

-Black quinoa's nuttier flavor and crunchy texture has the perfect breakfast cereal consistency. You can heat it up or eat it cold. I've been meaning to try this with bulgur and hemp milk, but haven't gotten around to buying it yet.

-Bananas have a looooooooot more Potassium than apples, so they'll keep your brain awake/more alive longer in the morning. This whole "recipe" seems pretty obvious, but I never even thought of making my own cereal until my good friend, who is a celiac, pointed it out to me.

-I think fruit adds just the right amount of sweetness, without being overly saccharine. But if you want more, add the maple or agave.

-I usually add maple syrup so I think of Wolverine right away after I wake up.

Vegan Lemon Poppy Cake

This cake has a really summery flavor.

I've been sitting here for 10 minutes and that's all I can think of writing. My brain is on E today (what else is new). If brains were petrol I probably couldn't power a fly's motorcycle around the circumference of a penny.

Also, when I just reread the title of this post I thought it said "Vagina Lemon Poppy Cake." VAGINA. Vagina is NOT a cake flavor. Even that sentence makes me dry heave a little. Sigh. I think it's time for a nap.

I'm so tired I'm starting to see Wolverine in the dry wall on my ceiling. That's when you know it's bad. Also, now that I'm thinking, why would a fly need a motorcyle? It would just, assumedly, fly. Unless it was as lazy as I am. If I were a fly, I'd need a motorcycle. Please step right ahead and stop reading this.

Vegan Lemon Poppy Cake

3 cups whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3 1/3 tbsp poppy seeds
2 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 cup apple juice
2/3 cup maple syrup - Grade B, pure.
3 lemon rinds



-Okay first, you're going to want to mix the flour, baking soda/powder, salt, and poppy seeds all together, as the dry mix.

-Next: Add the apple juice, lemon juice, 3 tsp of vanilla, and maple syrup. (From Canada!). You can use store bought lemon juice, or just wait until you grate the lemons and then juice them.

 

-Take a food grater/shredder (I just used the grating tool on my food processor) and grate the rind of 3 lemons. If fruit could think, honestly, it would be like SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTT in the food processor. I always think of that whenever I use it.

-Now that you have all your lemon rinds (nom nom nom), mix them into the batter! I'm sure you got that, but I'm a little comatose right now, maybe you are too.

I just thought this picture was pretty and I wanted to show off.

-Now, put the cake in a 9 inch pan on 350 for 30-35 mins. Remember to grease the pan because I forgot again you don't want sad sticky cake, yo.

-In a little less than 3/4 of an hour, you'll be the proud owner of a brand-new cake, only pay S+H! Call 555-5555, that's 555-5555, that's 555-5555!!!

-If you want to make the icing I made (I just thought blueberries go well with lemon, if you don't well then, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Your Majesty) just throw in the food processor:

1/2 cup fresh blueberries

1/2 cup vegan margarine

 3 cup powdered sugar

1 tbsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp strawberry extract

1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar

If you buy a pint of blueberries, you can use what's left to decorate, or you can just stare at them. I don't know. The apple cider vinegar gives frosting a really good, "cream cheese" like flavor.

Holla, brosef!