Raw Vegan Chocolate-Coconut Ice Cream

Ummmmmmmmmmmm, yeah I made ice cream. The cool thing about vegan food is that all you have to do is substitute the dairy/meat fat for some other type of vegan fat and normally you get just-as-good (or better, ahem) dishes than non-vegan plates!

Also, I just used like three different words for "food," trying to be all savvy and writer-ly and cool, and you know what, I just ended up sounding mentally deficient ("non-vegan plates!"). That's a lesson for you: if you try to sound like you know what you're doing, you're probably going to fail, unless you're pretty. In that case, Please, come in, can you start on Monday?

Anywho, here's a nice recipe for y'all bemoaning the lack of ice cream in your life, the same way I'm bemoaning the lack of Wolverine in mine.

Raw Vegan Chocolate Coconut Ice Cream

1 cup cashews (bless you)

1 cup pecans

3/4 cup fresh, shredded coconut

1 3/4 cups water

1 cup maple syrup

2 1/2 tsp vanilla flavor

1/4 cup dark cocoa powder

1/4 tsp ground coffee

- Blend everything in the food processor until smooth and if you don't have an ice cream machine (who the fuck has an ice cream machine? people who suck that's who), just put it in the freezer overnight and enjoy!

Taz reallyyyyyyyyy wanted to lick up the droplets of chocolate ice cream, but I narrowly avoided disaster and saved the day!

Fine, fine. Pushy, pushy.