Vegan Irish Whiskey Cake

First off, I love whiskey. I wish I could put it in everything, including my toothpaste. I wish I could put it in my saliva ducts. LOL! I'm so funny, look at me making jokes. Yay Jameson ftw.

This recipe is an amalgam of different recipes I have found on the web. The most significant change I made is including both brown sugar and agave. Also, I always use all whole wheat flour, never a mix of white and whole wheat. Ugh, I sound so racist.

Vegan Irish Whiskey Cake

Ingredients:

2 1/3 cups whole wheat flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tbsp cocoa

1 tsp salt

3/4 cup vegan margaine, softened

1/2 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup agave (or 1 cup sugar)

egg replacer for 3 eggs

1/2 cup strong black coffee

1/2 cup of whiskey

Side note: Most maragines are vegan, however trace bits of milk etc can get into any maragarine not labeled "vegan." The only reason I buy the specific vegan kind is because Earth Balance can come "soy free" and I like that. Because I'm a freak.

-First, mix flour, cocoa, baking soda and powder, salt in a large bowl. Sift it, ho.

-In a separate bowl, mix the maragarine, brown sugar, and agave. Cream it together. This recipe goes well with Amber not Light agave, because it has a richer flavor. Like your mom.

-Add 3 tbspn egg replacer to equal parts water and add this to the wet mixture.

-Next: In a separate dish add the 1/2 cup of whiskey to the 1/2 cup of coffee. I'd consider using anything but Jameson for this recipe to be blasphemous. But who the hell am I? God? Someone with big tits? Who the hell is listening to me? Use whatever you want, you jackass.

Coffee and whiskey! Nom nom nom.

-Next: Add the wet mixture and the coffee/whiskey blend to the dry mixture slowly. Taste the batter once it's done. If hot people had a flavor, it would be this one.

-Next: Cook on 350 for 40 mins in any pan. Pause: remember to grease the pan w/margarine because if you don't you'll be sad like I was when I pulled it out of the oven and it stuck to the inside of the pan. I almost cried like a church on a Monday but then my mom came over and saved it because she could tell I was on the verge of a mini breakdown; as that's completely normal and not drastic at all. Thanks Ma, you're cool. PS. I'm watching Teen Wolf right now.

-Dust w/powdered sugar. Or don't; this isn't Adolf Hitler's cooking hour.

-If you're going for elegant I would suggest styrofoam plates purchased at your local Wal-Mart and a plastic fork that was preferably on sale at Publix in bulk, but do what you can.