Black Quinoa With Lime and Rice Vinegar

Honestly, I'm having a moment of unrepentant joy because I just read Daniel Day Lewis is going to play Professor Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes 2. EVERYONE knows Sherlock Holmes is so awesome that it could melt your eyes. He's like the first superhero ever because he has a super MIND. Science is hot. So importantly:

Now, back to this recipe. Honestly, this recipe is kind of so boring you might want to kill yourself before you even finish making it. Like, suicides might occur because of this recipe. Thus, I feel the extra need (on top of the usual need) to make funny comments and put up stupid, disconnected pictures. It's what I call a defense strategy. Basically you're taking your life in your hands if you choose to make this. It's what I call, throwing shit together when you're bored/lazy/otherwise inadequate.

Black Quinoa with Lime and Rice Vinegar 

1 cup black (or regular) quinoa

1 1/2 cup water

canola oil

2 tbsp lime juice

1 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp paprika

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 whole onion

1 red bell pepper

3 tsp rice vinegar

-Okay, so I got black quinoa at this health food store near where I live. It's apparently the "wild" version of regular quinoa. Wild is a pretty good adjective, so I decided to spring the 7.76$ to buy it. Who the fuck charges seventy-SIX cents for anything, I don't know. That's not my area of expertise. (Nothing is).

Despite my whining, it's actually really good- it remains crunchy after it's cooked and has a less nuttier flavor than regular quinoa. If you can find it and you're gullible like me, buy it.

-First, put 1 cup of quinoa with 1 1/2 cups water in a pan. Handle that? Okay now turn on the stove and let it come to boil, bringing down the temp to a simmer until all the water evaporates. Cook it like rice, homie.

-Next, pour some canola oil into a frying pan and throw in the cut up red bell pepper. Let that sit for a while before tossing in the onion because peppers cook slower. I use canola when I fry because it's supposed to not transform chemically/magically/religiously when it's cooked, creating a toxin called HNE (fun, look it up) and kill you.

It's something that happens with lipid peroxidation, which is just a nerd way of saying heating oils. Polyunsaturated fatty acids contain lots of double bonds- they have reactive hydrogen atoms. WHICH MEANS blah blah blah sciencey shit, basically: sesame, canola, coconut oils are all pretty good to be heated at high temperatures. However, I am an idiot, even I really don't believe myself. Why should you, if you think about it.

-I threw some extra paprika on the heating pepper and onions to infuse flavor.

-Next, take the quinoa off the heat (it'll prob take about 10-15 mins to cook), and pour the veggies over it. Add the salt, lime, cayenne, rice vinegar, and paprika. I put a shitload of extra lime on mine because I like the flavor a lot. Ease up on the cayenne if you don't like spicy food, or cut it out altogether.

-Dude, you're all done! Quinoa's awesome because it's the grain with the most protein, so it mf fills you up. Eat, mofo.