.: Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

Hooray! I know, chocolate chip cookies are so good they make you want to puke. I actually made these a couple days ago but was too lazy to put all the pics and stuff up on the computer. On top of this the pictures sucked because my digital camera still runs on BATTERIES and is a piece of shit. Yeah. So, I was stomping around like the baby I am.

At first, I scorned the cookies because I deemed them a terrible, horrible failure and a testament to my already dubious talent. But then, I came around. I became like the woman who says she never wants to have kids, and then she has one by accident (heyyyya!) and swears to have 50 more.

I would have 50 more batches of these little mf bites of joy.

So, if you're feeling like Wolverine today:

Then do I have a recipe for you! These are are not the overly-sugary ooey-gooey cookies your mom makes. They have a rich, full flavor and a hearty yumminess to them. If you don't like them, they also make really good ammo, so throw them at your mirror when you have your inevitable moment of self-hatred for the day!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/3 cup agave syrup (Amber)

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup almond milk

1/4 cup canola oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
4-5 squares of bittersweet vegan baking chocolate

*Makes about 24 small cookies

-Most pure baking chocolate is vegan, however sometimes it is "produced on equipment that manufactures milk, soy, etc" - If you have a problem with this, Whole Foods chocolate chips and Trader Joe's chocolate chips are both vegan. Also, carob chips (which taste a little different, nuttier, but are equally AMAZING) are another option. They have a very chocolate-y consistency after being baked. Also, you can give carob chips to your dog. Or if you really hate your dog, go ahead with the chocolate chips.

-Step 1: Mix all dry ingredients together. 2 cups flour, baking soda/powder, salt.

-Next, whisk all the wet ingredients together. Almond milk, canola oil, agave syrup, vanilla. I always use Almond Breeze brand almond milk. I think the Silk kind is kind of tasteless. Almond Breeze, represent. When I made these cookies I forgot to put in the agave and realized only after they were in the oven. So I had to take them out, pouting like a 2 year old, and put it in ex post. Fail.

- Now, whisk the wet mixture into the dry slowly.

-Next, chop up 4-5 blocks of vegan baking chocolate with a good knife. As a zombie, I'm used to people coming at me with knives. But as a human, I think you should be concerned if you chop off a finger or two. Unless you're part starfish, then by all means, please send me a YouTube vid. Ps. Wolverine can regrow his fingers too.

-Now mix the shavings into the batter by hand. Yes, by hand you lazy ****.

-My dog Taz is obviously worried I am going to leave the oven on again and burn down the house.

-Last, roll all the cookies out on a greased (with canola) cookie sheet, and cook on 350 for about 13-15 mins. Normally, you'd let them in for a little less time, but since we used agave you're supposed to extend baking time by 6%. I read that off an agave manufacturer's website once, but you were fooled for a minute, weren't you? That'll teach you to trust me.